What would i be doing if i am not doing what i am doing today? You might think this is a pretty ordinary question and the possible answers could be - Doctor, Cricketer, singer etc.. True, i could have been any of these things . But to answer this silly question it is very important to understand the fact that what we are is a result of all the people who have been a part of our lives. This thought reminds of a quote from Chuck Palahniuk's book INVISIBLE MONSTERS - ' Nothing of me is Original. I am the combined effort of every one i've ever known.' I don't believe that you are result of just your own mind. Nothing comes into your mind from within, it all depends on what you absorb from the outside. You cannot think of being a scientist if you had not heard about Einstein or atleast another research fella from your neighbourhood.
People get influenced by many things- own family, friends, movies or some one who lives across the street who doesn't know your existence. I want to relate this to an experience of mine. I have seen 2 people who have been through the same path in their life, yet due to a the change in surroundings have ended up being different people. One ended up dead at the age of 35 and the other is alive at 45. One of them was Venkatesh who was the brother of my neighbour Sita. She was married and had a 2 year old kid. I was 10 or 11 years old then i guess. This guy had come to hyderabad searching for a job. People said he was smart, i think he had a PG degree but he did not have a job. He remained jobless for more than a couple of years. I think his mother passed away long before he had come here, so he only had his sister. After remaining jobless for a few years , he decided he would earn his bread by doing odd jobs mostly lifting bags into rickshaws near the market. He would not be allowed inside his sister's house and he slept on the pavement of the shops at the end of our street. years passed and my neighbours moved to a new place some 2 KMs away from my place.
This man was still wandering around our neighbourhood clad in dirty clothes, placing his rupee coins on the road and hitting them with a stone, begging for food if he could not buy it. I always thought it was such a waste of talent and life, just because he was not cared for by his own family. One day when i was in my engineering he died, and i dont think anyone came to see him off for the last time, i dont know if the municipality van carried him off or i just hoped some distant relative of him who lived close by performed his last rites. Everytime i see a person clad in dirty clothes smellin like shit and speaking english and begging it reminds of Venkatesh's face when he came to the city with a lot dreams. I think i spoke to him many times, my mom offered him food a lot of times when he was hungry. I remember my Dad telling him he will find a nice girl for him to marry and help him settle if he gets a job for himself. things just did not happen, no body cared. I think his sister should have done something about it. He wouldn't have been dead, atleast such a death would not have been on the cards.
Another case i have seen is of a person i would want to call Shiva who lived in the same neighbourhood as Venkatesh ... His mom died when he was 16 or 17 so he moved to hyderabad, he was the youngest child in the family and was everyone's pet. He had 3 elder sisters and 2 brothers. All the sisters were married and the brothers were just settling down in their careers. Shiva stayed with his brothers and father and was doing his B Com. His dad was sick, and his siblings did not have much time for Shiva, but were able to take care of him in their best possible way. Later his father passed away and the older of his brothers got married, and Shiva came to live with one of his sisters who loved him a lot. He was not doing great at his studies, but finally managed to finish his degree. His brother in laws were very caring, they always treated them like their Son as he had no parents and one of them put him in a job in a Finance company. He worked there for few months and one day went for collections and did not come back after collecting a few thousand rupees. His sisters were worried, they could not contact him, neither would he contact them.
One day they found in a bus stop and took him home. They could not find out what was going wrong, they tried to ask him what he did all these days but he would not answer. His sister would see another venkatesh in the making. He was beaten by one of his brother in law - just the way a boy gets beaten by his dad though. He would not answer. They put him up in many jobs, but he would not go to work regularly, once in every 3-4 months he would disappear with a few hundred rupees in his pocket and would not come back for many days. His younger sister was always the one who worried the most about him and would enquire everyone she met if they had seen him, but in vain. Once in a few months he would turn up in dirty clothes , torn chappals. His sister would give him a few hundred rupees from her savings with out her husband knowing it and ask him to buy new chappals and beg him to stay back at their place. He never did that, he always said he was fine with his friends and he was working in some hotel as a cook. If they said something harsh he would abuse them, by shouting at them standing at the gate and go away. Inspite of finding him a lot of jobs and giving him place to stay in their house like one of their children, he never listened to them. It was not until he entered his 40s that he actually started to mend his ways a little. It took more than 10 years for the family to bring him back to normal. He now stays with his sister's family and works in the same office as his brother in law and earns his 3000 - 4000 a month. He has once again started to feel the warmth of something called love and belonging. This person does not have any friends, is not married, but is alive and has a family which makes him smile and want to live.
Everytime i think of these two people i have seen, i realize what impact family has on our lives. I would say family is everything, atleast to all of us who live in this country. And everytime i think of my family, the things they have done for me, the way they have accepted me inspite of all the foolish acts i have done in life, i feel like shouting at the pitch of my voice " THANK YOU MOM, DAD AND SIS FOR DEALING WITH THIS PIECE OF SHIT FOR SO LONG".
People get influenced by many things- own family, friends, movies or some one who lives across the street who doesn't know your existence. I want to relate this to an experience of mine. I have seen 2 people who have been through the same path in their life, yet due to a the change in surroundings have ended up being different people. One ended up dead at the age of 35 and the other is alive at 45. One of them was Venkatesh who was the brother of my neighbour Sita. She was married and had a 2 year old kid. I was 10 or 11 years old then i guess. This guy had come to hyderabad searching for a job. People said he was smart, i think he had a PG degree but he did not have a job. He remained jobless for more than a couple of years. I think his mother passed away long before he had come here, so he only had his sister. After remaining jobless for a few years , he decided he would earn his bread by doing odd jobs mostly lifting bags into rickshaws near the market. He would not be allowed inside his sister's house and he slept on the pavement of the shops at the end of our street. years passed and my neighbours moved to a new place some 2 KMs away from my place.
This man was still wandering around our neighbourhood clad in dirty clothes, placing his rupee coins on the road and hitting them with a stone, begging for food if he could not buy it. I always thought it was such a waste of talent and life, just because he was not cared for by his own family. One day when i was in my engineering he died, and i dont think anyone came to see him off for the last time, i dont know if the municipality van carried him off or i just hoped some distant relative of him who lived close by performed his last rites. Everytime i see a person clad in dirty clothes smellin like shit and speaking english and begging it reminds of Venkatesh's face when he came to the city with a lot dreams. I think i spoke to him many times, my mom offered him food a lot of times when he was hungry. I remember my Dad telling him he will find a nice girl for him to marry and help him settle if he gets a job for himself. things just did not happen, no body cared. I think his sister should have done something about it. He wouldn't have been dead, atleast such a death would not have been on the cards.
Another case i have seen is of a person i would want to call Shiva who lived in the same neighbourhood as Venkatesh ... His mom died when he was 16 or 17 so he moved to hyderabad, he was the youngest child in the family and was everyone's pet. He had 3 elder sisters and 2 brothers. All the sisters were married and the brothers were just settling down in their careers. Shiva stayed with his brothers and father and was doing his B Com. His dad was sick, and his siblings did not have much time for Shiva, but were able to take care of him in their best possible way. Later his father passed away and the older of his brothers got married, and Shiva came to live with one of his sisters who loved him a lot. He was not doing great at his studies, but finally managed to finish his degree. His brother in laws were very caring, they always treated them like their Son as he had no parents and one of them put him in a job in a Finance company. He worked there for few months and one day went for collections and did not come back after collecting a few thousand rupees. His sisters were worried, they could not contact him, neither would he contact them.
One day they found in a bus stop and took him home. They could not find out what was going wrong, they tried to ask him what he did all these days but he would not answer. His sister would see another venkatesh in the making. He was beaten by one of his brother in law - just the way a boy gets beaten by his dad though. He would not answer. They put him up in many jobs, but he would not go to work regularly, once in every 3-4 months he would disappear with a few hundred rupees in his pocket and would not come back for many days. His younger sister was always the one who worried the most about him and would enquire everyone she met if they had seen him, but in vain. Once in a few months he would turn up in dirty clothes , torn chappals. His sister would give him a few hundred rupees from her savings with out her husband knowing it and ask him to buy new chappals and beg him to stay back at their place. He never did that, he always said he was fine with his friends and he was working in some hotel as a cook. If they said something harsh he would abuse them, by shouting at them standing at the gate and go away. Inspite of finding him a lot of jobs and giving him place to stay in their house like one of their children, he never listened to them. It was not until he entered his 40s that he actually started to mend his ways a little. It took more than 10 years for the family to bring him back to normal. He now stays with his sister's family and works in the same office as his brother in law and earns his 3000 - 4000 a month. He has once again started to feel the warmth of something called love and belonging. This person does not have any friends, is not married, but is alive and has a family which makes him smile and want to live.
Everytime i think of these two people i have seen, i realize what impact family has on our lives. I would say family is everything, atleast to all of us who live in this country. And everytime i think of my family, the things they have done for me, the way they have accepted me inspite of all the foolish acts i have done in life, i feel like shouting at the pitch of my voice " THANK YOU MOM, DAD AND SIS FOR DEALING WITH THIS PIECE OF SHIT FOR SO LONG".
Ahhaaa, Why do you consider yourself a piece of shit? Everyone does some foolish acts in their life. I'm asking this question, even though I know I'm goin to get a slogging answer. Tell me why? Why a piece of shit?
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ReplyDeleteI will; definitely!
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